Friday, September 25, 2009

Beautiful People

It's funny how boys/men can consume your thoughts when you're interested in someone.  

My housemate is totally boy crazy and it's amusing because I thought I was boy crazy, but man, i'm nothing compared to her.  Although she is three years younger than me, so maybe i'll be a bit lenient because i was maybe a bit more 'crazy' when i was a bit younger too.  

Usually she's got some crush on a guy at school, and she talks about him constantly.  Although it's amusing and interesting to hear her go on and on about a conversation that she had with her crush of the moment, it's unfortunate because they don't seem to reciprocate her interest.

Currently she's interested in a boy who is definitely showing some interest back.  But he's having issues with something because she's out right told him that she 'really likes him' and all he said back was 'i really like you too.'  I mean, c'mon.  A girl doesn't tell any guy friend that she 'really likes him' unless it's more than friendship.. right?  or is that more common than i'm used to?

I was in a long distance relationship for three and a half years.  We broke up last fall.  After that I decided to not pay attention to boys and focus on finishing school. (I'm expecting to finish my thesis at the end of this fall term.)    There was a guy at school [is name is Shy] who i would see in the halls once in a while, and always though was cute, but never did much on because i was literally too focused on school.  

Last week was the first party of the semester.  I randomly made out with a really cute boy (not in my school.)  Hahaha.. I haven't made out with a cute guy on the dance floor in literally years!  It felt nice.  
He held me really close and he put his hand on my back under my tank top.  It felt really nice.  ...just to be held.  I don't expect to hear from him.  But sometimes it's nice just to have some skin to skin contact.  I think it's just something that's ingrained in us to be soothing.  
I think that's why I prefer hugs to kisses.
They can feel so much more intimate.
[Un]fortunately, nothing will happen with him.  He is not someone i see anything actually happening with.

It's funny how when you allow yourself to feel emotional about something so small about someone you don't even know.  Suddenly I started to realize that there are other beautiful people who are not in my life.   ...but who I wanted to be.
Like Shy.
Shy is beautiful.

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